The chickens have escaped!

I turned my back on the rhubarb plants for a couple of days and they’ve gone completely nuts! I’ve pulled off 6 kilos of the stuff just to try and keep abreast of the issue, but I can already see new shoots growing in front of my very eyes. For future use I really want to pick it when it’s smaller than this to get a better flavour .

What I want to know is if anyone has a good rhubarb recipe of the more unusual type - chutneys etc. I’ll be making the usual puddings but would like do try some more long-term bulk-processing recipes. Anything that I can make and put in jars is a winner in my book. Anyone have any ideas? Does rhubarb chutney work?…

As money is in such short supply, I’ve started selling bread (above) and pasta to local friends (and as the season progresses hopefully they’ll buy some veg too!)

The chickens have gone from laying no eggs EVER to laying more than we ever thought possible. This daily delivery has led to me making lots of pasta again… I’ve had this pasta machine for years, a classy bit of kit bought back in the days when we had money. Not only that, it’s made in Torino, Italy and not in China!

Pasta is a great way to use up eggs. For the 4 of us I use 300g of flour (recipes will tell you to use only the finest 00 flour, but I use whatever is in the cupboard and it tastes no different!) and 3 eggs. That’s it! Either kneed by hand or chuck in a food mixer like I do, then begins the fun part of rolling it through the machine. It’s very therapeutic and I highly recommend it!

Anyway, this time the purpose of making pasta was to do some experiments on the drying side of things. I usually cook it straight away, but it seems like a good idea to be able to make some and then store for a future emergency.

This is my home-made drying rack, it’s just a rake handle hanging off a couple of nails and is high-up to avoid children and cats. Hanging here are tagliatelle, linguine and pappardelle.

It’s the end of April, time to take stock of what I have and haven’t managed to achieve so far this year.

I planted 12 heritage fruit trees and Ian and I got the 200 hedge plants/trees into the ground last month. For the hedges I bought a mix of wild pear/apple/plum (sloe), hornbeam, hazel, elder, willows… and I’ve planted 30 or so trees in one corner of the field to form a little copse; oak, ash, lime, horse chestnut, beech… I’ve probably forgotten a few, but you get the idea. I’ve also planted seven ash trees to form a grove, so that those who have time for such things can do meditation or yoga.

As for veg: my divisions of artichoke are doing well – as John Seymour says, they’re not going to feed a hungry world, but will add some variety and as the plants were already here when I arrived it’s cost nothing.

Rhubarb is doing well and already threatening to flower – I know I should probably cut the flowers off but they are quite the most magnificent things and I can’t bring myself to! Elsewhere in the garden are Jerusalem artichokes, broad beans (picture right), peas, onions, garlic, cabbages and rocket – though all still very small. I would have liked to plant the beans last autumn, but the plot they are in hadn’t yet been created then.

In the house on windowsills are baby peas (extras to fill in gaps), tomatoes, kale, broccoli, lettuce and chard. All still too small to go out, and anyway there are no dug areas for them to go in yet!

I managed to sneak and hour and a half yesterday when there was no/little rain to weed the strawberry bed. Last year our wwoofer and I spend 3 days making this patch “completely weed free” before planting 100 strawbs, but that didn’t deter the weeds from taking up residence again! It’s now back to its former glory, a few of the plants are even in flower (pic below).

So it’s not the most brilliant start to the year. But, we’ve not had any wwoofers yet, Ian has been busy on other jobs so hasn’t been able to help much and the weather has been against us most of the time, but I’ve not done too badly and there’s still time to catch up.

The weather is really against me at the moment. What I want is mild spring-like days; not too hot and certainly no rain as I’ve a lot to get done before the 15^th May; our official planting-out date for anything frost intolerant (that’ll be almost everything then!). But what I’m actually looking out the window at is rain, rain, and a bit more rain. Yesterday we had hail and storms, and bolts of lightning which sent Ian into a spin (he’s storm-phobic).

There’s so much digging to do, I just despair of ever getting it done. I would prefer to use sheet-mulching and thus avoid digging altogether, but it hasn’t worked well in this garden. I’ve marked out a new veg plot which I sheet-mulched last year and subsequently become invaded by vicious perennial weeds which thrived under the cover of card and straw which I so kindly provided! So I must now dig over all the ground and remove the weed roots before the crops go in.

Unfortunately we have managed to buy a house on the worst plot of soil in Normandy. When I dig down there is approximately 3 inches of fairly uninspiring soil followed by a layer of solid clay and then limestone that seems to go down to the depths of hell. Last year’s test veg of beans and courgettes really didn’t go a bundle on such pathetic conditions, so I am fairly concerned that this year’s harvest will be puny!I’m trying to loosen the soil a little by adding some sand and also chucking on a little sawdust from the local sawmill. The sawdust is totally product-free and from soft-wood like pine.

Lots of people advise against adding lots of sawdust to soil as it steals Nitrogen, but I’m just adding a little and will later be adding urine to try and even up the levels. All this is because I’m still waiting for my compost to mature… I have four ‘normal’ heaps, plus one from the compost loo in the B&B, but unfortunately they are not yet rotted down and we have no money for buying in compost. If I ever move house I think I’ll go and live next door to a mushroom farm!

The smellies have been on holiday for a couple of weeks, so gardening gets put on the back-burner whilst we turn our attention to our offspring and their need for chocolate and other types of nourishment. A favourable weather forecast gave us crazy ideas about a day at the seaside – so this Saturday saw us out and about at Deauville in a last ditch attempt to show the kids some ‘real life’ before they went back at school.

Anyone with an obsession for high-performance cars could do worse than to spend the day at Deauville… as we walked through the town we passed the most incredible supercars – Ian (being well up on this type of thing) reels off a string of funny names followed by obscene price tags. Not much of a holiday, looking at cars that are worth as much as my house!! It seems that every rich Parisian has decided to hit the beach and, like us, Deauville is the closest one they have.

So, at the seaside and another day spent digging – this time more pleasurable as little M shouts “Bury me alive!” Temperatures reached the mid 20s, Ian got sunburn and everything got covered in sand, but I managed to collect some lovely shells for the mosaic in the bathroom and the kids were so tired that M fell asleep on the way home. Success!

At last, after two years of my moaning, Ian finally succumbed to my demand to cut down the large pine next to the veg patch. It’s annoyed me since we moved in – casting a shadow on the veg in the early morning which then moves round to shadow our front garden until past midday. It also blocks the nice view we might otherwise have… infact it had no redeeming features and I cannot understand why it was there!

Having polished the chainsaw and looking up the perfect tree-cutting technique on the internet, Ian performed a text-book tree felling (his first ever!). The trunk was then chopped up and the branches went on to the hedgehog hotel I’ve installed in the corner of the field.

I’m sure the veg patch gave a huge sigh of relief at seeing the tree go, I know I did.

This is the plot which was being overshadowed. It was called ‘plot one’… but is now known as the Bottle Garden, as I’ve used wine bottles to mark out the curved edges of the beds. I’d just like to point out that not ALL the bottles were ours, quite a few were donated by other alcoholics.
It was originally just a square plot with a path down one side, but last autumn I decided to make it a little more interesting with a central bed and four paths coming off it. It has plenty of herbs dotted around, companion plants will go in soon and it has a few perennials such as artichoke, rhubarb, welsh onions and Jerusalem artichokes.

Although growth isn’t in full swing yet in the garden; don’t be tricked into forgetting about the slugs that are lurking in corners waiting for your prize veg to be planted out before they attack! Get ahead by starting your slug campaign now before it is too late, there are a variety of methods and killing slugs is a duty – so don’t delay!

My perennial and favourite slug terminator is the beer trap – a plastic tub of beer sunk into the ground. This year I have added a cover to keep out the rain which dilutes the beer and makes it less potent, it’s just a roof tile propped up on one side with a stone. I have the beer traps dotted around the veg plot; you can put in as many as you like. If you’re worried about the cost of the beer (or the tragic waste of diverting good beer away from your stomach), try asking at your local pub if they can keep the waste beer they get when they change a barrel – they may think you’re mad, but at least it’s free!

Hand picking is also very effective – go out at dusk, especially if it has recently rained, and you will see slugs all over the place. Simply pick them up and throw them straight away into a bucket of salty water. I now kept a bucket of salty water permanently in the garden for drowning slugs (with a lid on to keep out the rain). DON’T put the slugs into a container hoping to transfer them later to the bucket – by the time you get there they will have all escaped, the slippery buggers!

It’s also a good idea to set up slug nightclubs. Lay down planks of wood, used halves of grapefruits, etc on the ground overnight and the following morning you will find the underside covered in slugs which you can pick/scrape off straight into the salty bucket. You’ll catch hundreds this way!

For localised defence against slug-munching, don’t forget that crushed eggshells, wood shavings, sharp gravel/grit, etc. around a cherished plant are an effective barrier, as is wood ash. Wood ash/potash also happens to be good for your soil - sprinkle liberally everywhere!

Remember, slugs are everywhere. Don’t be fooled into thinking that a couple of days’ slug control will see you right for the season. Slug eggs are nestling in cosy corners waiting to hatch out at a moment’s notice and eat your tomato seedlings. Not only that, but slugs are hermaphrodite, so every single slug you let live will be producing yet more plant-munchers!

I’ve been too busy to write blogs as I’ve been organising this…

Another day of indoors-only weather, and even more forecast for the weekend (snow, even!) so I’ve been indoors trying to catch up with housework. What a joke! We worked out that even if I had an extra person here cleaning from 9 to 5 daily the place still wouldn’t be clean and tidy!

Ian’s been doing some paintings for an exhibition which starts in 3 weeks’ time. He’s put some paint on the canvasses, but quite a lot of it has ended up around the house… on his clothes, the floor, chairs and tables, plates, even the knobs on the cooker. It’s like a kind of artistic garnish on the house which I have given up trying to get rid of. I wonder how many years I’d have to leave it before the house became a work of art in its own right?!

Anyway, I showed you some pictures of the bathroom as I demolished the walls,

here is what it looks like now… The walls have been covered with a rustic-finish mortar (more English country cottage than French farmhouse, but who cares). Ian made this sink unit with recycled wood and floorboards, and I did the plumbing. I know that two sinks seems unnecessary but, believe me, it’s FANTASTIC!

I’ve also started the tiling – just the little bit behind the bath for now, there are still 3 metres square left to do! This bit was done with recycled mirror and a few tiles. Getting the mirror to break into nice-shaped pieces was pretty hard and more than half the mirror ended up in pieces which couldn’t be used – tiles are much easier to break. I’ve also collected broken plates, stones and pottery found whilst digging the garden for the main wall; but I haven’t steeled myself to start to mammoth task yet – it’s a little daunting and I’m worried about it going wrong at some point and having to start again!

An interesting programme today on Radio 4 about smallholding, which you can hear thanks to the BBC’s ‘listen again’ feature… Go to

http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio4/news/farmingtoday/

and ‘listen again’ to Farming Today This Week (on the right hand side of the page).